TOUGH TIMES: Eighteen strangers will be forced to work together to ‘survive’ for 39 days on Samoa’s tropical beaches.

The worst kept secret in reality television is official – the 19th edition of CBS’ Survivor series is heading to Samoa. 
Other than the fact that it has wrecked wedding plans for dozens of New Zealanders, the real question is this: How hard can surviving on Samoa be?

I did it for years, tackling endless multicourse umu or feasts, complete with freshly plucked fruit and delicately roasted pork.

Then there was surviving Vailima beer, the sunburn on the stunning beaches and the odd falling coconut or children stealing mangoes.
And yes, all those Samoans. Large, warm, friendly, romantic and so darn hospitable. Surviving Samoa’s jungles? No snakes, wild animals or anything threatening, other than getting mud on your Nikes.

Sure it rains, but it never gets cold.
Back in February Stuff.co.nz reported that Samoa was the next venue for the series. The Samoan media were not allowed to report it because Deputy Prime Minister Misa Telefoni heavied reporters to keep it secret.

Survivor host Jeff Probst last week got around to telling the world what every Samoan already knew.
“Deep in the exotic waters of the South Pacific, 18 strangers will be abandoned on the rugged islands of Samoa, a tropical paradise straight from Robert Louis Stevenson’s legendary tale, Treasure Island,” said Probst.
“This majestic land of towering waterfalls, mysterious rainforests, and a fierce warrior culture will be the castaways’ home for 39 days.  Forced to work together, they must learn to adapt or they will be voted out.”

Survivor have taken over a couple of beaches, notably a place called Return to Paradise Beach on Upolu’s south coast. It was last famous in 1953 when Gary Cooper starred in a movie there.

I’ve survived its warm waters and white sands. We had to pay the matai to be there. Then we tried to light a barbeque but could not as the wood was damp. A 10-year-old village girl came by and did it for us.

Last time I was there I was covering a conference; Helen Clark and John Howard were staying and some local Samoan wrestler called Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was, well, surviving. Shared a resort toilet briefly with him – and two security guards.
The locations suggest the “jungle” to be used by Survivor is the area south west of the capital Apia. It is where we went one day to hunt the fierce wild Lake Lanoto’o goldfish.

It’s not far from where Taito Philip Field got some Thais to do some tiling.
Survivor: Samoa will need to learn survival techniques when facing the classic ‘ava ceremony – Samoans let them run, fiercely, for hours.
Of course these sensitive Americans will have to be warned about the fierce wit and freely offered wisdom of the fa’afafine.

There is, however, one big serious survival event looming ahead.
In Samoa they drive American style, on the right hand side of the road. In two months, in a day destined to be utter madness, they are going to switch over to driving on the left hand side.
Surviving in the jungle may be the safest place to be.

Written by Michael Field, Fairfax Media